Well, I ran the 1/2 marathon yesterday here in Rochester - and bottom line, I feel like it was the worst run I've ever completed. Why? Because I stopped and walked for 2 minutes... not a good reason you say? :) In my "running career", what little it has been :), I've never had to walk ANY of my long runs ever, so as soon as I stopped to walk around mile 9, I felt like a failure. Never mind that it was 85 degrees and humid beyond belief, never mind that up until that point I had run UNDER my goal time, never mind that I had to pee from the first mile (the line for the bathrooms were 10+ minutes in wait time before the race, so we decided to go during the run... there WERE no potties on the run! AHH! Not a muscle that I wanted to be holding for 2 hours!!)
So, all this to say, I'm laying in bed this morning calculating the time it would have taken me to reach my goal time - I would have had to run 2 minutes and 38 seconds quicker - that's all - to be at my goal. For some reason, figuring this out made it worse... in my mind I immediately say, "Kristen, of course you could have run that much quicker!" And then I begin to remember how much pain and how much swelling of my head from the heat I was feeling those last 4 miles. And that wonderful still small voice (gotta love it :) begins to bring to mind the Phil. 4:11-12 verse:
"for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."
Being content. Content in not doing what I thought I would do. Content in being ABLE to run. Content in finishing being enough.
What I did not realize was that the next verse was, ironically: "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." So appropriate for my run to put these two verses side by side. I now read this last verse here in a new light: I can do all things through Him - and one of those things is God giving me the strength to be content. Stop being frustrated, stop berating myself, stop wishing my run to have been different. What I have completed is good enough.
Ever have one of those runs/days? :)
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Monday, September 15, 2008
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6 comments:
Kristen, you are fantastic!!! Congrats on running and finishing in yesterday's heat wave. I stayed inside as much as I could.
I have been there many times in the last few weeks as mileage increases, my body aches are constant and I worry about holding Ginny up during the race. Keep those verses handy because we all might need them on October 20th!!!
Kristen - I can't believe you ran 13 miles in that heat! Way to persevere. Congratulations. And no potties along the way?!
You know, there's this marathon runner named Jeff Galloway, who has written a couple books and he has a whole following of runners who swear by taking one minute walk breaks every mile. They say it keeps them free of injuries and even helps their overall times because the "rest" allows the body to have a mini-recovery. Clearly, with the oppressive humidity yesterday, your body needed that "rest" and you were good to listen to it!
Hopefully it will be cooler in SF!! Definitely it will be less humid. :)
Firstly- CONGRATULATIONS, KRISTEN! I'll celebrate you and your finish until you can celebrate it yourself!
Secondly- Races can be unpredictable. You train & do all you can to best prepare your body for what it will encounter. However, come race day, there are always things that occur out of our control...weather, other runners, water stops, bathroom options, a blister in a place you've never had one before, etc. Then it's about overcoming those obstacles & finishing even in the midst of them.
You did it, Kristen! You finished a half marathon in tough conditions. You could have quit, you could have walked the last 4 miles, you could have thrown in the towel. But you didn't. You crossed the finish line, running! I'm so proud of you!
Thirdly- Yes, I've had one of those runs, actually more than one. I was really disappointed in my marathon time last year. I've struggled with celebrating the fact that I finished, even though most people around me were (are) congratulating me. Why are we so hard on ourselves?
Fourthly- One more CONGRATULATIONS!
You're awesome....in so many different ways. CONGRATULATIONS on finishing 13.1 miles in nasty conditions. You did it! Fabulous!!!!
Ever have one of those runs/days? Uhhh.....YES!!!! I have all these time goals, physical goals, blah, blah, blah. I've been beating myself up b/c I KNOW that I'm slower than all of you... I'm tired of my body breaking. I wish I had more time in my life to train. I wish I was stronger. I wish I could run longer distances w/out the walk breaks. I wish I could control my body so that I won't have a bloated, PMSed experience in SF.
I'm still battling the inner conversations in my head.... I want to finish. I want to enjoy the experience. I want to stop worrying about time and maybe stop to take a picture instead.
As I write this I'm struck by this thought (again, that small still voice) Do you think you would have learned the "content" lesson if all of your goals had been met? Sometimes I think God let's things end in ways different than our "plan" b/c the lesson He has for us is so much better.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
You did it Friend. Great job.
I thought of you all day Sunday as I felt the heat, Kristen. Way to go!! I'm with everyone else that you did an amazing thing to finish that run. And hey -- I stopped TWICE on my Sat. run with Katie to potty break. Never had to stop for that before in the almost 5 months I've been training. Way to be content!
You guys are awesome! :) Thanks for each of your encouraging notes - I smiled and got misty eyed over how wonderful each one of you guys are!!
Two thoughts - first, why ARE we so crazy hard on ourselves? Why can't we stop comparing ourselves with others (especially friends who we know love us dearly!) Ahh - even as I write this I can think of 30 different areas that I compare myself to others all the time... very hard...
Secondly, I think you are right on, Kristin, in your comment - if I had met my goal then I would have been very content "in my own doing" and never had learned a God-given lesson or had to rely on Him to strengthen me. Remember the song by DC Talk (I know I'm dating myself here...) called The Hard Way? Feeling like that tonight :)
Anyways, here's to honest, loving, wonderful friends :) Hugs to each of you! :)
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